Saturday 24 December 2011

Two Points of View on Forgiveness

You have most likely heard the saying "To err is human; to forgive is divine" (Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism
There are several points of view on forgiveness and I'd like to share two of them with you - Citrix 1Y0-A23 question that of Dr. Laura Schlessinger and that of Dr. Fred Luskin. Why? Because they are so vastly different in their approach and it gives you a choice in how you want to deal with forgiveness.
Dr. Laura says on You Tube (and I'm sure she says it in her writings) that four things should be present for you to forgive another person and she calls them the four Rs. They are:Responsibility. The offender should take responsibility for what they have dome.
Remorse. They should show some degree of remorse for what they did to hurt you
Repair. They would like to make it up to you or somehow "fix" it.
Repetition. They are taking steps never, ever to do it again.

The problem with this approach is that it gives the offender control.It may leave you carrying the anger and hurt for a very long time if the responsibility for forgiveness lies with the offender and the offender refuses to deal with it or is indifferent. What if they never show remorse? How do you know if Citrix 1Y0-A04 question the remorse is real? How do you know they are sincere when they say they won't do it again? The person who offended you is in a position of power and you become the victim.
On the other hand, Dr. Fred Luskin, states that forgiveness is a choice - your choice. In his book, Forgive for Good
Know what your feelings are about what happened.
Be clear about the action that wronged you
Share your experience with at least one or two trusted people.

Luskin states, "Forgiveness is the feeling of peace that emerges as you take your hurt less personally, take responsibility for how you feel, and become a hero instead of a victim in the story you tell. Forgiveness is the experience of peacefulness in the present moment. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it changes the present. Forgiveness means that even though you are wounded you choose to hurt and suffer less. Forgiveness means you become a part of the solution. Forgiveness is the understanding that hurt is a normal part of life. Forgiveness is for you and no one else. You can forgive and rejoin a relationship or you can forgive and never speak to the person again"
This view of forgiveness takes you out of victim hood and puts you in a position of power. It gives you the freedom to chose whether you want to reconcile once the forgiveness is done and does not leave you with SC0-502 anger, hatred or grudges.It stops the blame game and restores you to peace.
It's up to you. I choose peace.
References: Lusin, Dr. Fred, Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and happiness

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